National Coming Out Day to be an Official LA Holiday!

What a time to be alive! This week, we are thrilled to say that we will be witness to history being made by our latest feature at Bello! PJ Brescia, a young activist and founder of the non-profit organization BabyGay is spearheading a change in Los Angeles and working with the city and City Councilmen in declaring October 11^th a city holiday in honor of National Coming Out Day! While National Coming Out Day is currently celebrated, this historic event will mark the City of Los Angeles as the first major US city to officially recognize the holiday! Does that mean we don’t have to come to work???

PJ Brescia

In celebration of the occasion, he is hosting a red-carpet event at the historic landmark The Black Cat in Silverlake where he will be joined by celebrities including Margaret Cho, Award-Winning Drag Queen & Host Lauren Banall, comedian Allison Reese who is famous for her Kamala Harris impersonations among others. We know our Bello readers are looking forward to attending with an Aperol Spritz in hand to cheers to the event!

We were lucky enough to speak with PJ on this upcoming event, his non-profit BabyGay, and how impactful this will be to the LGBTQIA+ community. Check out our Q&A below.

You JUST created BabyGay as of 2023, what inspired you to create such an organization from personal experience? Most people go through something but never think of creating a non-profit from their experience. Can you walk us through how you got from coming out, to legally filing for a non-profit to where you are now? 

This was never the plan. It has been a long journey to get here, let me tell you. I came out as Gay at 27 and later as Non-Binary at 31. It all started with what I’d call either a mental breakdown or spiritual awakening – however you want to frame it – at 27 years old. I was running from various aspects of my life, with my sexuality and gender identity being major components of that hardship. But when I had no other choice but to let go and finally accept who I was, the universe started guiding me in a really incredible way.

While things were moving in the right direction, I found coming out unexpectedly difficult in unusual ways. I thought the hard part would be sharing my authenticity with my loved ones, and then the queer community would welcome me with open arms into my new queer life. I had the opposite experience. I felt shame for coming out later, and extremely alone in the process. I also learned that the LGBTQIA+ community is way more fractured than I ever expected.

At 30, I started channeling my experience into a fictional version of my coming out story titled “Baby Gay.” I assembled an incredible group of filmmakers, and we shot the pilot in 2022. Through this project, I finally felt comfortable sharing my story on social media. During the pandemic, I began sharing my journey on TikTok. The response was overwhelming, with so many people reaching out saying they related to my story and wished they had someone to guide them through their coming out journey.

The non-profit formed completely organically. We had our launch event in February 2023 at The LA LGBT Center, where we premiered the pilot and featured an incredible lineup of queer performers. Despite experiencing the worst weather I’d seen in my 13 years in LA, 250 people still showed up. We had 17 corporate sponsors and a vendor village of local LGBTQ+ organizations and businesses. That turnout made it clear that the BabyGay community was needed.

Since then, we’ve grown tremendously. We partnered with The Black Cat for our first annual National Coming Out Day in 2023, which coincided with The Black Cat being recognized as the first LGBTQ+ landmark of California. The Black Cat has become BabyGay’s homebase and greatest ally. I am so grateful for Lindsay Kennedy (Co-Owner of The Black Cat) and the entire team there. BabyGay has had booths at numerous Pride festivals across Southern California, including LA Pride, SD Pride, Venice Pride, and Santa Monica Pride. At our booth, we invite people to write letters of encouragement for people coming out and share their coming out stories for our online community.

Now, as an official non-profit, we’re launching incredible initiatives like the BabyGay Welcome-Wagon Box – an essential kit for someone just coming out, complete with handwritten postcards of support from community members. We’re especially proud that on October 11, 2024, BabyGay and The Black Cat, in partnership with LA City Council Members, will be part of making Los Angeles the first major U.S. city to officially recognize National Coming Out Day as a city holiday.

What specific challenges do you think the LGBTQ+ community is currently facing, and how does your organization help address them?

The LGBTQ+ community currently faces several significant challenges. The concerning rise in anti-LGBTQ+ legislation across the country has created an environment where many people feel afraid to express their authentic selves. I’ve also personally witnessed how the fractured nature of our community, with its many subgroups that don’t always connect well, can be especially intimidating for someone who’s newly out. BabyGay addresses these challenges through our events at The Black Cat and Pride festivals, where we create safe, judgment-free zones for sharing stories and asking questions. Through initiatives like our Welcome-Wagon Box, handwritten letters of encouragement, and upcoming monthly meetups, we’re building bridges between different parts of the LGBTQ+ community. Most importantly, we’re creating spaces that welcome everyone, regardless of when or how they come out – allies included!

How does BabyGay provide resources for members of the LGBTQIA+ community, especially for those who might be struggling with their identity? (This may be answered above but if there are any specific resources the community can access that would be great to list)

BabyGay offers a range of resources for the LGBTQIA+ community, especially those struggling with their identity. Here’s how we provide support:

1. In-Person Support:

1. 1. Monthly meetups at The Black Cat in Silver Lake: Safe spaces for community members to connect and share experiences. (Starting this month!)
   2. Pride festival booths: Write encouragement letters, share coming out stories, and connect with local LGBTQIA+ resources.
   3. Annual National Coming Out Day celebration: Our cornerstone event, now recognized as an LA City holiday.

1. Virtual Resources:

1. 1. Social media content: We share coming out stories and advice on our platforms (@BabyGayTV), reaching those without local LGBTQ+ community access.
   2. Upcoming podcast: Will feature diverse coming out stories and address common challenges.

1. Tangible Support:

1. 1. BabyGay Welcome-Wagon Box: An essential kit for those just coming out, including handwritten postcards of support and curated resources.

1. Community Building:

1. 1. Letter-writing initiatives: At events, people can write and receive encouraging messages from the community.
   2. Storytelling opportunities: We provide platforms for sharing personal journeys, both online and at our events.

All our resources are designed to be accessible and welcoming, regardless of where someone is in their journey. Whether you’re questioning your identity or have been out for years, there’s a place for you in the BabyGay community.

To access these resources:

• Follow us on social media (@BabyGayTV) for daily support and information.
• Visit our website (www.baby.gay) to sign up for monthly meetups and events.
• Attend local Pride festivals to connect with us in person.
• Reach out directly if you need a Welcome-Wagon Box or specific support.

As someone spearheading a non-profit, what has been the most rewarding part of your work in the LGBTQ+ space?

The most rewarding part of this work has been witnessing the ripple effect of shared stories and community support. When I first started BabyGay, it came from such a personal place of having felt alone in my own coming out journey. Now, seeing people find comfort and courage in our community spaces is incredibly moving.

At our events, I often meet people who tell me they wish they had a community like BabyGay when they were coming out. Having people flock to our booth to write letters of encouragement to strangers in the BabyGay community is insanely powerful. Here’s an example postcard: “Being Queer is beautiful, I hope you find happiness and belonging! It’s what you deserve!”

Each note represents someone reaching back to help others who are where they once were. It’s a beautiful reminder that while everyone’s coming out story is unique, we can all be part of making someone else’s journey a little easier.

What advice do you have for individuals who are thinking about coming out but are hesitant or afraid?

First, I want to acknowledge that coming out is a deeply personal journey, and it’s important to do it on your own terms. It can feel overwhelming, but know that there’s no right or wrong time to come out—it’s all about what feels safe and right for you.

My advice is to start by finding a support system, whether it’s close friends, family, or a community of allies like BabyGay. Talking through your feelings with someone who understands or empathizes can be incredibly grounding. You don’t have to do it alone, and there are people out there who will celebrate and love you exactly as you are.

Remember, you deserve to live authentically, and there’s so much freedom and power in embracing your true self, but it’s okay if you’re not ready just yet. Take your time, and when you do decide to come out, know that you’ll be joining a beautiful and resilient community.

What do you hope attendees take away from this year’s event?

I hope attendees leave this year’s event with three key takeaways:

1. A deeper understanding of the diverse experiences within the LGBTQ+ community, recognizing that every coming out journey is unique and valuable.
2. An appreciation for queer history and its ongoing relevance, exemplifiedby The Black Cat. As the site of one of the first documented LGBTQ+ civil rights demonstrations in the nation, predating Stonewall by two years, The Black Cat reminds us of the long struggle for equality and the importance of continuing that fight today.
3. Inspiration to take action through the power of storytelling. By sharing our experiences and supporting one another, we can create ripples of change in our communities, whether that’s supporting a friend who’s coming out, volunteering with LGBTQ+ organizations, or advocating for inclusive policies.

We’re making history this year as Los Angeles becomes the first major U.S. city to officially recognize National Coming Out Day as a city holiday. This milestone demonstrates what we can achieve when community organizations, businesses, and city government work together. It’s a powerful reminder that our individual stories, when united, can drive significant societal change.

None of this would be possible without our amazing partners. A heartfelt shout-out to Lindsay Kennedy, co-owner of The Black Cat; Councilmembers Nithya Raman and Hugo Soto-Martinez and their dedicated teams; and our incredible headliner, Margaret Cho. I also want to express my deepest gratitude to all our talented performers, dedicated vendors, and generous sponsors who have contributed to making this event truly special and impactful.

Ultimately, I hope this event fosters a sense of community and solidarity that extends far beyond today. Whether you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community or an ally, I hope you leave feeling empowered to advocate for visibility, acceptance, and support for LGBTQ+ individuals in your daily life. This event is just the beginning – the real work continues when we take these experiences and inspirations back into our communities.

How do you engage the wider community, including allies, in events like these to foster understanding and solidarity?

You know, at BabyGay, we really believe in bringing everyone together – LGBTQ+ folks, allies, and everyone in between. We’re all about storytelling, whether it’s through our upcoming podcast where people share their coming out experiences, or at our events at The Black Cat where you can hear these stories live. We love getting people involved too. At Pride festivals, you’ll see us encouraging everyone to write heartfelt letters to support those coming out. It’s amazing to see allies jump in and contribute to our Welcome-Wagon Boxes too. We’re always looking for ways to learn from each other. That’s why we’re excited to be launching monthly meetups at The Black Cat soon. These will be great opportunities for allies to join in, ask questions, and really understand what it means to support the LGBTQ+ community. We’ve even started working with organizations outside the LGBTQ+ space to spread our message further. It’s all about creating those connections, turning understanding into real support. At the end of the day, we’re trying to build a community where everyone feels they belong, no matter where they’re at in their journey.

This year, you are partnering up with the City of Los Angeles in making October 11th “National Coming Out Day”! Tell us about how you managed to get the city onboard.

Councilmembers Nithya Raman (CD4) and Hugo Soto-Martinez (CD13) have been outstanding allies in championing LGBTQ+ rights and visibility. BabyGay was proud to partner with them for a meaningful Pride event at the AT Center this past June, where we celebrated LGBTQ+ history by removing anti-LGBTQ+ signage in Silver Lake—an important step toward creating a more inclusive and welcoming community.

Since that event, our partnership has only strengthened as we continue to support each other’s initiatives. I especially want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to Councilmember Nithya Raman and her dedicated team for their leadership in spearheading the historic effort to officially recognize National Coming Out Day as an LA City holiday. Their unwavering commitment to this cause has been inspiring, and it has been a true pleasure working alongside them.

I look forward to many more collaborations as we continue to make meaningful strides toward equality and representation in our city.

What are your plans for future events or initiatives? How are you going to top getting the City of Los Angeles to recognize your efforts?

Building on the momentum from LA’s recognition of National Coming Out Day, we’re dreaming big for BabyGay’s future. Our next big push? We’re reaching out to other major cities to follow LA’s lead. Imagine a day when Coming Out Day is celebrated nationwide – that’s the kind of visibility we’re fighting for, especially in the face of challenging legislation.

We’ve got some exciting plans in the works. We’re launching a storytelling series that will bring LGBTQ+ experiences to life, not just for our community, but for allies too. It’s all about education through personal narratives. And speaking of stories, our podcast is set to launch soon, featuring diverse voices from across the spectrum of queer experiences.

We’re partnering with local businesses and organizations to create a stronger support network. Think of it as building a queer-friendly ecosystem in our cities. We’re also exploring ways to make our Welcome-Wagon Boxes available to more people, because everyone deserves a warm welcome when they come out.

At the heart of it all, we’re focused on making real, tangible differences in people’s lives. Whether it’s through our events, our advocacy, or our support systems, we want every LGBTQ+ person to feel seen, accepted, and celebrated. That’s the future we’re working towards, one story, one partnership, one city at a time.

How can people who are interested in supporting your organization or future events get involved?

We love when people want to get involved and support BabyGay’s mission! There are several ways to help us make a real impact. If you’re interested in volunteering, we always welcome help at our events—whether it’s with planning or hands-on support—especially for larger initiatives like our National Coming Out Day celebration. You can sign up for updates and volunteer opportunities on our website at www.baby.gay.

Another powerful way to support is through donations, whether financial or in-kind contributions from local businesses and organizations. Every bit helps us create inclusive, welcoming spaces and build programming that directly benefits the LGBTQ+ community. You can find more information on how to donate via our website.

You can also help by spreading the word! Follow us on social media (@BabyGayTV), attend our events, and share our work with friends and family. The more people we reach, the more resources we can offer to support those going through the coming-out process.

We’re always open to new ideas and collaborations. If there’s a unique way you’d like to contribute, feel free to reach out. Whether through time, talent, or resources, there’s a place for everyone to get involved with BabyGay.